Dating a Divorced Man with an Evil Ex

One of my favorite shows is "The New Adventures of Old Christine" and another is "Happily Divorced," but neither seem like reality. The story-lines are very entertaining, they make me laugh and think. The first is funny because many of the episodes refer to the situation as not normal. The latter is hilarious because Fran and her ex still live together.

Okay, old Christine and Richard have a child and it's awesome that they show a positive relationship and do what is right for their son. But how many ex wives get along with a new girlfriend? Hey, I also watch "Cheaters" and "Divorce Court" both which show a more realistic version of what probably goes on. How many woman in a relationship would accept, or should have to accept their man calling their ex-wife their best friend? Marriages and relationships between two people should be about them being best friends with a bond that is special. Just saying.

Most ex-wives that I know are very spiteful and can't let go; even if they ended the marriage. Some fake the "I'm okay with his moving on and wish him all the best," but beware they are usually sneaky and secretly want to ruin their ex-husbands new relationship. Now, there are some rare cases where an ex is sincere and could care less; those are strong, self-confident women.

If you're in a relationship with a divorced man who has an evil ex-wife and she is making your life miserable you need to have a heart to heart with him. As far as the ex goes if children are involved be responsible and keep their best interest in mind...but if there are no kids or they are grown then ladies you better put your foot down. Sometimes you have to let the ex know she had her opportunity, she's the past and now it's time to let go, move on and get to stepping.

How to Deal with a Difficult Mother in Law that is Making You Miserable

Is your mother in law making your life miserable? If you are always holding back from just telling her how you feel then take a deep breath and exhale. You do know you're not alone, right. If you are dealing with a difficult mother in law she probably don't know her place in your marriage.

It's true, there are some mothers that think they have a right to butt in and dictate how your marriage should be. I think daughter in laws have this problem more than guys.

The Sly Molders 

Some women want to mold their son's wife into the type of wife they think their son should have. They try to get you to treat their baby boy exactly as they do. These mothers are often sneaky, they'll try to make you think they are just being nice and offering suggestions. But their sly ways become annoying and obvious.

The Nosy Mother in Law 

These can be a real pain, they are like detectives always prying because they need to know everything that goes on in your relationship. They can be manipulative and make you think they are just being friendly and loving.

The I Can Fix Everything Mother in Law

This is the type that thinks it's their job to tell you how to deal with problems. They believe mother knows best, but the real problem is that they can't accept the fact that their baby is a grown-up.

The Disappointed Matchmaker Mother 

And of course there are mothers who just don't like the partner their child has chosen. Since giving birth they planned the perfect mate for their son or daughter, but he chose you. This is a really difficult one to deal with because in their mind you're not the right match for their child. They have issues with everything about you, no matter how hard you to try to get along with this mother in law  she will never be happy.

The "Rosemary's Baby" Mother in Law 

You carry the baby and give birth then she wants to take over. Why not, she did raise your spouse. Well, she is not your child's mother you are, she is grandma and should stay in her place. Advice is nice and can be very helpful, but as soon as you realize that granny thinks she's mom you need to deal with this before it becomes a serious problem.

I could go on and on, but I'm sure you know what type yours is.

How to Keep Your Difficult Mother in Law From Ruining Your Marriage

Sure you want to scream and say what's on your mind, but don't do that. I would suggest that you talk to your spouse, but remember this is their mother your talking about so chose your words carefully and be respectful. Timing is another thing to consider before you approach your mate; after all you are in a sense complaining about their mom.

The reason I say talk to your spouse is because that is who you married and took vows with. You have to trust in your love and communicate how you feel. Sometimes they don't even realize that there is a problem because it's their mother and they are used to her ways. 

Why Do Men Like Dirty Talk

You probably know that words are powerful, just think about how you feel and react when someone says something rude. It has an affect on your emotions and body, you may get angry start breathing heavy, your blood pressure might rise. How about when a man gives you a compliment or whistles at you, it makes you "feel" good and attractive, right. Well, saying certain things to a guy is like foreplay for him, what he hears makes him feel something and he reacts to what he is feeling. Why do you think adult talk lines are so popular? No, not because men are pigs because they are sexual beings with needs that are different than a woman's.

Has your boyfriend ever said, "You like that baby?" Men want to be successful and they want to know if they are pleasing you, so they ask in subtle ways.

It's a conversation, an intimate dialogue that you need to participate in more actively. Tell him how it makes you feel. Ask him what he wants, "How's that feel?" By the way don't just b.s. him and fake it; mumble a bunch of questions and words, that will probably backfire.

This is more about intimacy and building a loving relationship based on trust and communication than simply saying a few risky words and phrases. It is about an openness between two people in a relationship, a connection that leads to passion and romance.

Has your man ever suggested this, or even hinted at it? Most men appreciate and find women who can express themselves openly extremely irresistible. Have you ever heard that men want their women to be a "bad" girl in the bedroom and a "lady" in the kitchen? It is true, men want a woman they can respect and feel good about, but they also have needs; give him what he wants and needs, you'll make him want you like never before.

Why Do People in Relationships Cheat

Cheating is so common that there is a television show called "Cheaters" which helps people confirm if their partner is in fact doing the do with someone else. You see the anger, guilt, tears and lies that cheaters tell even after being caught.

So, why do people in a relationship go astray and cheat? Check out this article I came across, it's pretty interesting and may give you some insight, personally I think a cheater is a selfish, immature individual. What's is so hard about being honest and just telling your partner that you don't want to be in a committed relationship? Stay single and date whomever you like and you don't hurt someone you "claim" to love and care for. Read the article about real reasons for infidelity yourself. It'll make you think.

Couples Who Love Eachother are Supportive not Demanding

Being in a relationship or married does not mean you are no longer an individual, yes compromising is important. What seems to happen in a lot of relationships is that one person does all the sacrificing and the other becomes more and more demanding and controlling. When it becomes impossible to be who they want you to be things get crazy.

You support them, compromise and do the things they like or want, embrace and respect their family values to the point where you begin to feel like you don't even know who you are anymore. You respect them and are supportive in ever way possible, you stand by your mate through thick and thin. However, if this is one sided eventually you will lose your individuality, and what makes it worse is when the time comes and you decide to stand up and be yourself again, be who you want to be, pursue your dreams and enjoy some of the values from your upbringing problems will arise.

When a person becomes angry and starts to yell and scream when things don't go their way, or because you start doing what you enjoy it's a sure sign that you are in relationship or married to a control-freak. Both men and women can be controlling, they want you to know what they want you to do, say and be as if you are a mind-reader. Sorry to be so blunt but if you are not doing anything wrong, just being you in hopes of being happy again and that upsets your partner it may be time to get some help or get out. 

I've watched some shows where one person really believes their mate should do this, that or the other and be exactly who they want them to be. This is crazy and the problem lies within the person with the demands; this is not being supportive this is becoming a robot. Couples who love each other should be supportive, accepting and loving. No one has the right to try and manipulate or change who you are to meet their needs and demands. Being a couple or married is a combination of two individuals who are willing to accept and love one another and appreciating some differences.

Women Who Lie About Who's the Baby's Daddy

Have you ever watched a show where a woman said she knew 100% who her baby's daddy is only to have a DNA prove she's wrong. The man is usually hurt or angry when the results come back, this is often because he had reason to believe he wasn't the daddy, but raised the child as his own anyway. This is no joke and women need to stop playing games, if you sleep around and don't know who the heck got you pregnant get a DNA right away. Some of these females actually let years go by, the kid bonds with the person they "think" is their dad and then the truth comes out and turns their world upside down.

Or they grow up fatherless cause mommy has no idea who daddy is...then you have women who know the man raising their child is not the father, but they let the child believe he is and eventually the kid finds out; they always do, and it's devastating. Don't play games with a child's self-worth and identity. If he's not the father, be honest. Damn this makes me mad. It's okay to have someone raise a child as their own if he knows he's not the biological father, but don't let the kid grow up living a lie.

What happens when you and the stand-in-dad break up or get into a heated argument? What happens when the man gets mad and tells the child he's not the father in an insensitive way? The child is traumatized and this lie can destroy their life. Yes, it is such an emotionally painful and confusing experience it could lead a child down the wrong path in life. Woman if you are going to have sexual-relationships with several men, hey it's your body and choice, be responsible about bringing kids into this world. These are living beings, babies have no say so about whether or not they are conceived and no child deserves to be tormented later in life by your selfish behavior.

Men stop letting your little head think for your big head, and stop acting like a dog in heat; you don't need to lay down and get busy just because the opportunity presents itself. If you are that desperate or weak and can't control your urges then wrap it up. And when a woman says she's having your baby and you have doubts, get a DNA as soon as possible. Women stop claiming you know he's the daddy when you know darn well you've been laying up with every tom, dick and harry.

Then talk shows like Maury exploit the situation and make a mockery of it, you don't need to put your business on national television to find out who's the baby's daddy.  Why don't these show host just offer the DNA test in private; ratings, money...sad hey.  Does anyone care about how the child you are testing feel years from not when they see that episode? What about their right to privacy?  The bottom line, some women and men shouldn't be able to reproduce; then they can sleep around all they want without bringing innocent lives into the picture. And talk shows need to stop airing these type of episodes for entertainment; who's the baby's daddy is not a joke.

Should You Snoop in a Relationship

No, it's an invasion of someone's privacy. Relationships should be based on love and trust, and if there is no trust there probably isn't much real love either. Sorry, but you don't have the right to go through your partner's email, phone or anything else searching for evidence to prove that they are doing something behind your back.

Go snooping and you will find something, real or imagined. If you are insecure or feel suspicious talk to your mate, tell them what you are feeling or thinking. This may sound foolish especially if you have caught your husband or wife, girlfriend or boyfriend lying to you in the past, but it's the mature thing to do.

You can tell a lot from a person's body language, and by paying attention to what they are saying. So, if you confront your mate with your concerns or suspicions, observe their reactions. If you can't trust your mate then maybe you are not in a relationship with the right person. On the other hand, be honest with yourself and if you are overly-insecure then you need to make some changes in you. Don't stoop so low that you are snooping and mistrusting, decide to trust or maybe it's time to let go and move on. How would you feel if you found out your partner was snooping on you?                       

Has Your Man Stopped Being Romantic?

Do you think men are “super complicated?”

If you do, you’re not alone. Most women wish that men came with an instruction manual. Getting a man to be “romantic” is as hard as finding a needle in a haystack, and I'm not talking about getting them in the mood that's a different ball game altogether. I believe that what you say to a man can make a huge difference. Not in words only but your self-confidence and how you love and respect yourself will send a message.

Most men want romance, but many of them are just too emotionally closed-off. And shy or not I doubt most men will actually tell a woman how they really feel, not what they want, but how they "feel." You know, open up emotionally and get mushy and intimate. So how can a woman bring out what's deep inside a man? Connect with them emotionally first, let the physical and sexual connections come after you have a real bond and friendship.

I think it was Steve Harvey that said men are like hunters and women are their prey. (something like that). It's the thrill of the chase I guess. Men will hunt and chase a woman they want for as long as it takes but once they capture their prey they lose interest and may move on and hunt for other prey i.e. go astray and chase the next woman. What Mr. Harvey is communicating to us women is simple, don't be an easy catch because the harder it is for a man to catch his prey the more he will respect, value, appreciate and desire to have it (you). So, take advantage of his hunter instincts and really get to know him. Woman we are emotional beings opening up is what we do best, right. Men are different, so get him to open up and connect on a deeper level while he's still in the "hunting...gotta have her mode". Sounds harsh but this is the time when a woman has a man's undivided attention.

 So, are men complicated, yes and no, we women just have to understand their nature.

Would You Date or Marry an Inmate

Could you fall in love with someone who is in prison? Would you marry an inmate who is doing a life sentence? The fact of the matter is many people, men and women, fall in love with someone who is locked up. Is this a bad thing or is it simply true love?

There are a lot of questions asked about the person who is free and dedicates their life to another who is not and may never be free. Many people reach out to prisoners out of compassion, probably just as a pen pal. However, there seems to be this mysteriousness about the person doing time that just touches their outside pal. Some say it's mostly women who fall in love with those who are unavailable because it feels safer, but men also commit to a relationship with someone who is not available.

Is this being unrealistic, knowing that you will never have what is considered a "normal" relationship. Well, if love is a thing of the heart then perhaps it is just as normal as any other type of relationship, consider all the long distance marriages and relationships; people in the service, business people who travel and the online romantic relationships.

There is an interesting article on why people are drawn to and even marry inmates, it was quite surprising to read about some of the most notorious criminals who seem to be attracting, or have attracted lover's on the outside who are more than willing to commit to them. Check it out, if nothing more it's definitely an enlightening read.

Why Do Women Cheat

Yes, ladies do stray too. We give men a hard time when they cheat, so in all fairness let's be honest women are doing a lot more cheating these days. Personally, I think that the reasons may be a little different though. It seems that a man will seek the comfort of another woman when their physical needs aren't met, but some guys are looking for the same thing that females want; companionship.

Women usually are looking for an emotional connection, but some do cheat just for the sexual gratification or at least to feel attractive and wanted. This usually happens when their husband or boyfriend has stopped showing interest in them.

What's interesting is that many men simply want the same thing as we do, to feel wanted and desired. Either way it's a sign that something is wrong in the relationship or marriage. So fellows if you are not showing her attention and she is working later, or spending a lot of time doing things she didn't used to it's time to start wooing her again.

And ladies before you rush off into the arms or bed of another man try communicating your feelings to your man or husband; the grass is never greener on the other side of the fence, although it may seem that way sometimes.

If you truly love your mate at least try to work things out, affairs often destroy a relationship. Check out this article about why women cheat on Askmen, it's really an interesting read and eye-opener.

Why is FaceBook Bad for Relationships

The social website may be a great place to connect with family and long lost friends, but it can ruin a relationship. This is not just an opinion it's something I've seen happen to a few friends. Let me tell you it can get pretty darn ugly too. It's not that the site itself is bad, it seems that people take things wrong or literally. 

For example let's pretend a woman learns that her boyfriend has 350 friends and 250 are females. So, she gets a little angry at him, and starts to suspect that he must be having an affair and she begins snooping in his account. Her heart pounds as she reads some of the wall post and almost leaps out of her chest when  she starts reading his private messages. Some of the computer lingo isn't familiar to her so she searches to find out what it means.  She realizes that hours have passed as she glances over at the clock. It's almost time for him to get home, so she logs out of his account and "tries" to act normal. 

When he walks in the door, it's not his face she sees. All she sees is the photos of women in his FB account, he attempts to kiss her and she shuns him. She's pissed-off, suddenly she believes without a doubt that he's been cheating on her, even though there is no reason to think like this; other than what she saw on his FaceBook.

How Do You Think This Will Affect the Relationship?

He is has no idea why she's treating him like this, they made love the night before, she kissed him before he left for work that morning. Now she's acting like a scorned woman. There is an interesting article by By John M. Grohol, PsyD survey with regards to Facebook and jealousy in relationships

Personally, Facebook is not something of interest, but many folks have made it a part of their daily routine. If you are in a relationship or married it might be wise to really consider how the social site may be affecting your love life. 

Non-Verbal Communication

Communicating with words is obvious, you say something and your partner hears you. What about the things you say without uttering a single word? Think about those sighs, rolling of the eyes and folded arms when you are interacting with your mate. Yes, the body does speak volumes and expresses what you may be thinking or feeling. Are you sending the wrong messages? Are you speaking in a love language?

How to Use Body Language in a Relationship

Learn more about how nonverbal communication can affect your relationship. Understanding the messages we send with our bodies can be used in a relationship in a positive way, this can be a useful manner of communicating.

Dalia Dippolito Sentenced for Hiring a Hit Man to Off Her Husband

This 26 year old newlywed planned and hired someone to kill her husband, was caught and arrested. She got 20 years behind bars for this sick attempt at taking her husband out. In 2009 Dippolito tried several time to have her husband arrested and when it didn't work she came up with a plan to get rid of him for good.

Salnick, her attorney, said sending her to prison for a long time would ruin her life. Guess that is a defense attorney's job, right. In all seriousness relationships should be about love, if you don't love someone don't marry them, and if you do and want out don't try to harm them or end their life...this is so crazy. Judge calls Dalia Dippolito pure-evil, and that certainly fits if you ask me.

Are You Dating a Mama's Boy

No, not a man who loves and respects his mother, but one who never cut the cord. If a guy has respect for his mom, loves her and treats her good he will more likely than not treat his woman good. On the other hand if a grown man is still "totally" dependent on his mommy and she is a constant part of your relationship you're probably dating a mama's boy. This may seem cute at first, but eventually you will want to get rid of that third wheel.

A mama's boy let's his mother stick her nose where it shouldn't be, in your personal life. She wants to know every little detail about what's going on in the relationship, and often tries to dictate how your relationship should be with her baby boys approval. He feels obligated to make her a part of the relationship because if he tells her to butt-out or back off her feelings will get hurt.

If you live together she wants to decorate your home or tell you how to, she tries to tell you what to feed her baby and at what time, etc. but she is subtle in her ways. For example, she'll buy cookware she likes and call it a gift, and he'll feels like you have to use whatever she gives you or it'll hurt her feelings. This is the mother who is controlling in the worse way, yet he is blinded by his love for her to the point that he can't see how abnormal and destructive it is to his relationship.

You will start resenting her because you feel that you and your boyfriend or husband should have a special bond between just the two of you. When you have disagreements or problems you may want to resolve them together without her two-cents, and if you let him know this and he "tries" to tell his mom he needs some space and privacy; watch out. Mommy will convince him that you're jealous of his relationship with mother, and mama's boy will fall for it hook line and sinker. She'll get emotional, may confront you about it, and things will just get hectic.

So, how does a woman deal with this? Recognize the signs and understand that there is a differences between a loving mother and son relationship, and a mama's boy with a nosy-body for a mother. Sounds cruel, but it's reality for many women. If his mother loves him she will respect him, you and the relationship. It's wonderful to be in love with a man who truly loves his mother, and it's great if you and his mom have a good relationship. But if you sense that she is too over-bearing and he is too dependent on mommy you need to nip it in the bud right away if you want your marriage or relationship to grow and last.

5 Reasons Couples Sleep in Separate Beds

Why do some couples sleep in separate beds? Did married couples really sleep in twin back in the old days? These are questions that many people ask, and the first thing that may come to their minds is something is wrong in the relationship. There are reasons why couples don't sleep in the same bed, and they are happy couples.

1. They know what they need to get a good nights rest.
2. They are secure in their marriage or relationship and know that where they sleep doesn't matter.
3. One of them snores too loud.
4. Some couples work different shifts and sleep at different times.
5. They are happy and enjoy their space.

These are just a few of the reason, there are many more. Maybe health issues are the reason, I've readthat back problems and menopause are on the list of reasons. So, just because couples sleep in separate beds it doesn't have to mean there are problems in the relationship. Of course there are some who do so because the marriage or relationship is in crisis, but not all.

And as far as couples sleeping in twin beds in the old days, as we saw on I Love Lucy or Leave it to Beaver maybe it was not acceptable to show two people cuddled up in one bed on television. Another thought, maybe in the old days double beds where not as popular as they are today. One thing is for sure, no matter where couples sleep you cannot use that to determine whether or not they had a healthy love life; if it were so then I'm sure the population would not be what it was then or now.

How to Rekindle Love After Verbal Abuse

The effects of verbal abuse can be devastating and lasting. In many relationships unkind words are used as tools to belittle and hurt. This should not be, but we are all human and make mistakes. Sometimes a person may not even know that they are in fact being verbally abusive. How do you bring back loving feelings when your spouse or partner has diminished your self-esteem with words?

Communication is key, you have to tell your mate how their words have made you feel. This shouldn't be an attack, that will only make things worse. Find a time when you are both calm and have a heart to heart talk about the things that have been said that hurt. Let them know how you feel and if they do not realize that they are abusing you. Interestingly, there are times when what we say is misunderstood; meaning what you say and mean isn't always received as intended. There are many websites where you can educate yourself or partner about verbal abuse and the effects; perhaps you can read together or you can print out some information to share with them.

Love is Not Abusive
Now, don't downplay intentional verbal abuse either. If someone is deliberately calling you names, cursing and yelling at you or threatening you it may be time to get some professional relationship help; maybe even time to move on.

So, if you can have a calm discussion about the verbal abuse you are being subjected to and your partner or spouse acknowledges, apologizes and is willing to change their behavior then maybe there is a chance to rekindle love after verbal abuse.

That is if you are able to forgive and you both are willing to honestly work towards a healthier relationship. If the verbal attacks don't stop then you know what you need to do, right.

How do you deal with different opinions

In the beginning it seems like there is nothing your loved one can do to annoy you, but what happens over time is every little thing can get on your nerves. So, how do you keep the little things from becoming problematic. Well, that is where unconditional love and commitment come in to play.

When those small annoyances creep up and make you want to scream take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Don't start speaking your mind because what is probably on your mind at that moment is anything but nice.  This will only put your sweetheart into a defensive mode, and an argument is more than likely to be the result.

Don't let little insignificant imperfections (at least in your mind) ruin a relationship. Learn to over-look, and if you must vent wait until your not feeling the frustration. You'll have a better chance at communicating what it is that annoys you, and your loved one will not feel like they are being attacked and condemned.